Cuban dictatorship cancels more Good Friday processions throughout the island

Good Friday procession in Sagua La Grande last year, cancelled today

From our Bureau of Socialist Social Justice with some assistance from our Bureau of Socialist Fear of God and Hungry Crowds

Castro, Inc. has shut down several outdoor Holy Week events today. The exact number is uncertain, but scattered reports of cancellations keep popping up from one end of the island to the other. This is socialism in action. Outspoken priests and outdoor gatherings worry Castro, Inc. as much as the existence of God and of Cubans who believe in any power higher than the Communist Party.

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Díaz-Canel calls for more brainwashing in Cuba’s educational system

From our Bureau of Socialist Solutions to Problems Created by Socialism with some assistance from our Bureau of Epic Brainwashing Campaigns

Trucutú Díaz-Canalla has a fever, and the only prescription is MORE BRAINWASHING. Yes, Castro, Inc.’s top meat puppet is dissatisfied with the number of Cuban professionals with insufficient “revolutionary” spirit. As he sees it, what Castrogonia needs is a greater number of die-hard repressors who will be ideologically pure.

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Putin sends 715,000 barrels of oil to his colony of Cuba

I give gift, you pay

From our Russification of Cuba Bureau with some assistance from our Bureau of Generous But Demanding Sugar Daddies

Czar Vlad the Invader has come to the rescue! Fear not, oligarchic whores of Castro, Inc., your new master has tossed you a much-needed bone. One must ask: what demands will be made by the Czar? More mercenaries for the war in Ukraine? Perhaps. Czar Vlad is a demanding sugar daddy, for sure. In one way or another, the whores who run Castro, Inc., will be asked to pay for this oil, as well as every other gift sent by Czar Vlad. The oil he has just sent will only last 35 days, so get ready to beg for more and to pay for more, probably with cannon fodder.

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Haiti’s top gangster, Jimmy ‘Barbecue’ Chérizier, boasts he’s just like Fidel Castro and Che Guevara

As cool as Che: New man and social justice warrior Jimmy “Barbecue”

From our Bureau of Great Heroes of the Caribbean with some assistance from our Bureau Extremely Appropriate Comparisons to Fidel Castro and Che Guevara

Cuba’s closest neighbor — Haiti — has no government at the moment and the nation has been plunged into a brutal civil war being waged by rival gangs. The only ray of sunshine coming out of Haiti these days is the fact that the most brutal and most feared of these gangsters, known as “Barbecue”, has admitted that he is a great admirer of Che and Fidel and that his battle for power is nothing more than a “social struggle.” Finally, someone in Latrine America has had the decency to make an apt comparison to those two sociopaths.

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Argentina sends soldiers to protect its embassy in Venezuela from attacks by Maduro dictatorship

From our Bureau of Fraternal Love Between Former Spanish Colonies

Relations between Maduro’s Venenozuela and Milei’s Argentina have now become so tense that the Argentine government has sent military personnel to guard its embassy in Caracas. Tensions have reached boiling point because Maduro’s dictatorship cut off electric service to the Argentine embassy after it granted asylum to six of his political opponents. Maduro is also miffed by Milei’s frequent denunciations of the human rights abuses of the Venenozuelan dictatorship in international forums. Stay tuned. This situation is highly volatile.

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Nearly 1,000 acts of oppression against religious freedom recorded in Cuba in 2023

Imprisoned Yoruba priest Loreto Hernández García and constantly arrested and harassed Catholic dissident Berta Soler

From our Bureau of Great Surprises with some assistance from our Bureau of Socialist Tolerance and Compassion

Surprise! Who could have ever expected this bit of news? A socialist utopia doesn’t normally behave like this, does it? Isn’t Cuba a model society for those in the U.S. who care deeply about Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion? Oh, this NGO report must be a big fat lie. No, no, no. Cuba would NEVER try to stifle religious freedom.

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Abandoned Havana building collapsing since 2014 continues to crumble slowly, bit by bit

Most recent bit of auto-demolition at 96-year-old Arbos building in Havana

From our Bureau of Socialist Demolition Techniques with some assistance from our Bureau of Socialist Public Safety Policies

Hey, this building began to fall apart ten years ago, but it’s still standing. Another great triumph for the so-called “Revolution”! So what if another section of external wall came tumbling down yesterday? The decaying structure refuses to collapse entirely, all at once. In any other country in the world, this building would have been demolished for the sake of public safety. But Castrogonia is different. Why waste time and money demolishing a building that will eventually tumble down on its own? Yes! That’s the Revolutionary spirit! That building deserves to be designated a Hero of the Revolution.

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American student from a Catholic university is thoroughly brainwashed in Cuba during spring break trip

University of Detroit students pose with Cuban savages in native garb

From our Bureau of Newly-Minted Useful Idiots with some assistance from our Bureau of Great Accomplishments of the Ministry of Truth

Ay Dios mio! The University of Detroit, which is run by Jesuits, sponsored a spring break trip to Cuba for some of its students. The results, according to one of the students in the program, were truly spectacular. Read the essay below and see for yourself how deeply and thoroughly this young woman’s thinking was changed by this trip. In other words, see for yourself, how successful Castro, Inc.’s brainwashing program can be. This student is now a crusader for Castro, Inc., convinced as she is that EVERYTHING that is bad in Cuba has been caused by the U.S. and its cruel blockade. Lord have mercy.

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Salaries of best-paid Cubans in Major League Baseball revealed

Yoan Moncada, Chicago White Sox, $24 million-dollar-man

From our Bureau of Ungrateful Selfish Wretches Who Abandoned Socialism with some assistance from our Bureau of Capitalism in Action

Twenty-one of the Cuban baseball players who have defected in the past few years are earning enviably hefty salaries. Sixteen of them are paid millions of dollars per year. Five of them earn extremely high six-figure salaries. The highest paid is Yoan Moncada at $24.8 million. Had they stayed in Cuba, each of these superstars would be earning only around $146 USD per month (3,500 Cuban pesos), which adds up to $1,764 USD per year.

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