A little levity for a Friday

You’ve probably received the following via email before, but it’s one of those that I enjoy for a couple of laughs every time I get it:

Only in America

Only in America …..do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. WHY???????
Spread the Stupidity

Only in America ……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America …..do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America …..do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America …..do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ……….do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America …..do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Have great weekend, folks.



2 thoughts on “A little levity for a Friday

  1. . . . Ever wonder . . .

    Why we park in the driveway and drive in the parkway?

    What hair color do they put on the driver licenses of bald men?

    When someone asks you “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put in your 2 cents worth, what happens to the other penny?

    Have a great week-end 🙂 Melek

    “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” ~ Charles Schulz

  2. Just for the record, I am still “researching” why I can’t close my mouth when I’m putting on my mascara…

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