The Infinite Postmenopausal Liberal Monkey Theorem…Part 2.

If one million monkeys typing away for all eternity can type out the collected works of William Shakespeare, and five hundred thousand drunk monkeys typing away for five hundred years could turn out most everything written by Paul Krugman, then three post-menopausal liberal monkeys typing away for a week could turn out two Maureen Dowd columns for publication.

But enough about Maureen Dowd, that was Part 1.

This is Part 2.

This is about Don Ediger, not Maureen Dowd.

“Gosh, is HE still alive?”

If Mr. Ediger is reading this, he knows that I am not showing a lack of respect for his age. I am just echoing his words, from a 1967 article on then 63 year-old Sally Rand, published by the Miami Herald. I don’t know how old Don is, but forty-five years ago, he was writing for The Miami Herald and thinking that 63 was old. Today, he probably disagrees with that idea.

Ediger’s current article “Cuba’s Post-Castro Future” published by the Liberal online publication, is yet another attempt by someone who, possessed with a little knowledge of pre-Castro Cuba, perhaps some personal experience in Castro’s Cuba (there are many reasons for aging men to travel to Cuba these days), and the opinions of a handful of Liberal-thinking friends in academia and jurisprudence, thinks he can speak for what “most Cuban-Americans now believe”.

He can’t.

It is to be expected, this idea that he would have his journalistic thumb on the undercurrents of Miami’s Cuban-American politics, but the primary flaw with liberals writing for liberal publications remains the same, whether one is writing for the site, or a real publication, like, let’s say, anything else. They walk among liberals, speak to liberals, read liberal publications, watch liberal news networks, read liberal pundits, and attend liberal functions hosted by liberal activists. In limiting their world to all things liberal, they come to believe that the whole world thinks like them.

It’s like living a never-ending, back-slapping, “aren’t we great”, ideological-circle-jerk-sans-the-need-for-a-case-of-moist-tissues life, and thinking that’s the norm.

Mr. Ediger quotes Andy Gomez, senior fellow at the University of Miami’s Institute for Cuban and Cuban-American Studies, a registered Republican and Obama supporter, Miami attorney ( and known dialoguero) Antonio Zamora, and calls their opinions “a growing consensus” (to be fair, there are 14 listing for Miami attorneys named Antonio Zamora, but I think I got the right one). If that’s enough to give Mr. Adiger the idea that he understands what Miami Cuban-Americans think, I’d like to invite him to spend a few hours with my family down Kendall way.

We’ll feed him some ropa vieja, and enough opinion on what we think to stave off an entire cadre of liberal professors and dialoguero lawyers, and before anyone goes labeling me “intolerant”, well, yes and no. Everyone is free to say and opine as they see fit, what they can’t do is to speak for me, or mine, charter members of that Miami, cafecito-at-Versailles-drinking, dos-croquetas-de-jamón-y-un-cortadito-merienda-at-La-Carreta-en-Coral-Way eating, Los-Marlins-loving Cuban-American community. We are the true representatives of that group of “most Cuban-Americans” that he keeps talking about in his piece.

Come talk to us.

The most astounding part of the piece, is the misrepresentation of the Cuban embargo’s intended purposes by Jose Gabilondo of FIU’s Cuban Research Institute.

“The logic of the U.S. embargo is ‘Let’s create conditions of civil unrest in Cuba by creating conditions of economic hardship such that there will be a popular uprising that will lead to a revolution.’ I reject that approach. I don’t think it makes sense.”

I reject that interpretation.

Fidel Castro’s regime stole from American citizens, and declared itself an enemy of everything American. It sought to install weapons of mass destruction on Cuban soil, for the sole intended purpose of threatening the United States, and by default, the people of the United States. It brought the world to the edge of nuclear war, and in spite of a failing economy that routinely left its own people short of even the most basic necessities, has financed and fostered strife in Central and South America, and beyond.

Moody’s gives Cuba a Caa1 credit rating, a distinction that the Island nation shares with Ecuador, Greece, and Pakistan.

And these are things that we all know!

They are things certainly known to the individual who heads FIU’s “Cuban Research Institute”.

The embargo was set in place because the Castro government all but declared war on the United States.

All these experts seem to miss the most glaring contradiction on their argument. Then, it was Castro and his useful idiots who accused American businesses of exploiting the people of Cuba, blaming all that allegedly was wrong with pre-Castro Cuba on the fact that Cuba had close economical ties with the U.S. Now, the current crop of useful idiots are blaming everything that ails Cuba on the lack of close economical ties with the United States, and are arguing in favor of going back to the halcyon days of cheap Varadero vacations, and plentiful Cohibas.

Gabilondo must see that incongruity, he must know that, just as he knows that there is no embargo. The U.S. today, is Cuba’s largest food supplier.

Why then, one has to ask, would someone who knows these things continue to beat that “lift the embargo, it hasn’t worked” dead horse to death, while simultaneously acknowledging that as a result of the embargo, Cuba is largely irrelevant, and massively broke?

You have to translate what they mean by “lifting the embargo”, when there is no embargo to be lifted for all intent and purposes.

This agitprop is designed to change the existing trade laws which force the Castro government to pay cash for anything they purchase from the U.S.

Castro wants credit, and the liberal elite in the U.S. want to give it to him.

By being allowed to sell to the government of Cuba (there is no Cuban trade entity in Cuba other than the Cuban government) on credit, U.S. companies come under the protective umbrella of the Export-Import bank of the United States of America, with all receivables generated by sales to Cuba, guaranteed by the American taxpayer.

The Export-Import Bank of the United States (Ex-Im Bank) is the official export credit agency of the United States federal government. It was established in 1934 by an executive order, and made an independent agency in the Executive branch by Congress in 1945, for the purposes of financing and insuring foreign purchases of United States goods for customers unable or unwilling to accept credit risk.

I’ve never been asked my opinion on the “embargo”, and as far as I could discern from phone calls made and emails sent prior to writing this response, neither has anyone that I know, so either we’re not part of the group chosen to respond to the survey, or the definition of what constitutes a Cuban-American has somehow changed to not include anyone that I know. And THAT concludes my own poll, equally as politically slanted as any poll of liberal thinkers made by any liberal writer for a liberal online publication.

Add them both together and what do you get?

A realization that after 52 years of debate on the subject, all that anyone, including liberal writers, academics, and lawyers engaged in a liberal circle-jerk can do, is write slanted speculative fiction on the subject of what is going to happen in Cuba after Castro dies.

There are only three things that are known with any measure of certainty:

  • There will be a party in Miami. One that will dwarf the night that LeBron “El Varón” James, Dwayne “Miami” Wade, and Los Miami Heat brought the NBA title back to the Magic City.
  • Post-menopausal Liberal monkeys will continue to pound away at their keyboards, turning out liberal drek, based on liberal circle-jerk suppositions of how the world should be.
  • We, the tens of thousands of unpolled Cubanitos, will help rebuild Cuba, not just sell her to corporative buitres and jinetera-hunting travelers in search of cheap thrills and cheaper vacations.

We will help Cuba rebuild, because we owe it to ourselves, and to those who never got the chance to do it.

Come to think of it, that opening sentence still applies here:

If one million monkeys typing away for all eternity can type out the collected works of William Shakespeare, and five hundred thousand drunk monkeys typing away for five hundred years could turn out most everything written by Paul Krugman, then three post-menopausal liberal monkeys typing away for a week could turn out two Maureen Dowd a Don Ediger columns for publication.

Granted, people actually know who Maureen Dowd is, so the sentence has far greater clarity unedited.



10 thoughts on “The Infinite Postmenopausal Liberal Monkey Theorem…Part 2.

  1. I don’t follow pro sports, but it’s my understanding that the current Marlins roster doesn’t have a single Cuban or Cuban-American player on it. In Miami. In South Florida. This looks VERY curious, considering there are over 40 such players in major league baseball now. So the Marlins can’t even get one such player on their team? Or do they simply not feel any need or inclination to do so? And why don’t they? If I were a customer for MLB, you’d better believe that wouldn’t fly.

  2. Embargo, libs? They cried a different tune when it came to South Africa (back then they said everyone should boycott that criminal regime!)-typical hypocrites who say/believe whatever fits the moment.

  3. asombra…there’s also the possibility that there were no Cuban, or Cuban-American players who fit the Marlin’s needs at the time that the Marlins were looking for players.

    I’d like to think that professional sports is one of the few remaining examples of a pure meritocracy in our society.

  4. “I don’t follow pro sports, but it’s my understanding that the current Marlins roster doesn’t have a single Cuban or Cuban-American player on it.”

    But they have a Venezuelan manager that insulted the local Cuban-America community with his comments a few months ago…

  5. Luis, I’m all for meritocracy, but I strongly suspect there’s a double standard or prejudice at play here, and that’s my problem. Remember the Marlins wound up treating Canseco very shabbily, whatever one may think of his issues, and they would not have done it if all things had been equal except for the player being, say, a black non-Cuban Miami native. And if “Ozzie” had insulted black people instead of Cubans, his ass would have been grass. I trust you get my drift. I can smell this sort of shit miles away.

  6. I’m a football guy, not a baseball guy, but I know enough about the Marlins to know that they are cheap, and that they make management decisions that make absolutely no sense to true baseball fans.

  7. Well, the new stadium wasn’t cheap, but most of the cost was foisted on the public, regardless of whether or not they wanted it or whether or not they even care about baseball. Of course, Miami politicians are what they regrettably are.

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