How American tourists will set Cuba free

If you follow the logic of President Obama’s “people-to-people” contact policy towards Cuba, it is American tourists visiting the island and interacting with Cubans who will eventually bring democracy to the nation and help its people rid themselves of the tyrannical dictatorship of the Castro family.

Now, you may very well be asking yourself: How exactly can American tourists pull this off in Cuba?

Well, the Guy Code Blog from MTV gives us a pretty good idea. Here is how some American tourists would achieve this worthy and noble goal…

Cool S*** American Guys Can’t Do In Cuba [VIDEO]

Credit: AFP/Getty Images

Today marks the 50th anniversary of the U.S. banning all travel and trade with Cuba, signed into law by John F. Kennedy. Too bad, ’cause Cuba used to be awesome. In the ’30s, ’40s and ’50s, if you hit it off with a girl, you’d hop on the next flight to Havana, gamble/drink/bone for 36 hours, then come back home.

That was back when Cuba was owned by the American mafia. They supported a guy named Batista, whom Castro overthrew in 1959. El Jefe then kicked out the mob and their casinos, which prompted the travel ban, ’cause JFK might’ve owed some favors.

Yeah yeah, it was bad that we supported a corrupt government responsible for hurting its own people. But the point is, this sucks for American dudes who can’t visit the island paradise–unlike guys from every other country–even though it’s only 90 miles from Florida. (Well, you can visit, but first you’ve gotta fly to Mexico and change your name, or something.) Here’s five things we’d get to do if we were allowed to visit Cuba…

1. Cuban Cigars

2. Rumba With The Locals

3. Drink Rum Like Hemingway…Or This Guy

4. Watch Crazy Competitive Baseball

5. Cruise In Classic Cars

After looking at this list, I think five activities is overkill. They should have the Castro dictatorship on the ropes just with “watching crazy competitive baseball” and “drink rum like Hemingway.”



5 thoughts on “How American tourists will set Cuba free

  1. Wow! How Americans have changed throughout the years! Back in the “bad old days” of Batista [remember Batista was a dictator, fidel is a president], Americans were villainized for exploiting Cubans. The owner of the New York Times, the dastardly Shultzberger, Sr., wrote about how he saw American tourists throwing pennies at the natives and how they would scramble to pick them up and how ALL Cuban women were whores to Americans. That’s right, our mothers and grandmothers could all be had. A little before that, the leftist American photographer, Walker Evans completely manipulated the Cuban reality and probably did more than anyone else to kick start the image of Cuba has an American whorehouse in the Caribbean. He went around Havana looking for black whores and pimps, and all the wretched people that he could find. In all, Americans were blamed for everything and tourism was at the heart of this blame. But somehow now, American tourist have the opposite effect. They will benefit and help liberate Cuba. How things have changed. It’s an inexplicable metamorphosis.

  2. I was just looking at those five videos. It’s sickening. I’m especially disgusted at the video of that old lady with the cigar. She’s become an iconic image though out Cuba. You see, that’s what American and Canadian tourists love to think that all Cuban women look like. That’s the way that they want us to behave, like trained monkeys posing for dollars. It’s never been about the “revolution,” they support the “revolution” because the “revolution” validates their preconceived notions of Cubans, conversely, they hate Miami, because it undermines their concept of us.

    in Cuba–Cubans behave how they want us to behave—trained monkeys serving them, dependent on their money, willing to dance and have sex
    In Miami–Cubans are economically independent, politically empowered and demand to be treated as equals.

  3. Ray, that “typical” Cuban woman is a more crude and vulgar version of the old “Aunt Jemima” figure, which of course is totally unacceptable to the same “progressive” American blacks that have no problem with the Cuban variant. It’s all a big crock of hypocritical shit, as you know.

  4. Same old disingenuous shit. They know it’s all BS, of course, but they won’t stop peddling it until they can no longer get away with it or it actually becomes a liability. Let’s face it, a brazenly hypocritical double standard has been “normal” regarding Cuba for decades; everybody’s used to it, so it raises no eyebrows and nobody questions it (except “those people,” but the fact they object merely makes the BS more “respectable” for being PC enough to piss them off). It’s a great racket.

  5. Asombra,

    I didn’t think about it, you’re right. The “typical” Cuban women has become a crude, and vulgar version of the old “Aunt Jemima”.

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