A Dazzling Display of Latrine American Logic


Argentina refuses to recognize Falklands sovereignty 

Yesterday and today (10-11 March), residents of the Falkland Islands have been  holding a referendum on their British identity: do they want to be British subjects or not?

The expected result will be no surprise to anyone: the Falklanders (who refer to themselves as “Kelpers”) will remind the world that they are resolutely British.

Argentina is refusing to accept the legality of this referendum, claiming – as it has done for many years – that the islands really and truly belong to Argentina and that its residents have no right to determine their identity, nationality, or sovereignty, even though no Argentinians have ever established any permanent settlements there, or even lived there for nearly two centuries.

This inane saber-rattling by the Argentine government is yet one more shining example of the logic that drives Latrine American rulers: blind, empty-headed nationalism, coupled with imperial and totalitarian tendencies, aggravated by willful invincible ignorance.

The Falkland Islands have been a British outpost since the late 18th century, long before Argentina even existed.  Prior to that time, the desolate archipelago was visited and claimed by a string of Portuguese, Dutch, Spanish, English and French explorers. The islands had no inhabitants, and the first tiny handful of settlers were Bretons from the port city of Saint- Malo in France. This gave rise to the  name Les Isles Malouines,  which the Spanish turned into Las Islas Malvinas.  But the British had come up with a different name in 1690 — the Falkland Islands — when one of their explorers named that remote smudge on the map after his patron, Anthony Cary, the 5th Viscount of Falkland.

The British drove out the French and claimed the islands in 1765. Then the Spanish attacked the British in 1767, but sent very few settlers.  In the meantime, the British never gave up their claim. The islands were still virtually uninhabited when in 1823, squatters from the Republic of Buenos Aires (not yet Argentina, but newly-independent from Spain) established a tiny settlement. Ten years later, in 1833, the British drove them out and reasserted their longstanding claim. Settlers from the British Isles began to flow in after 1840. To this day, the vast majority of the islands’ 2,841 residents are of British descent.   None are Argentinian.

In other words, the islands never truly belonged to Argentina.  A handful of “Argentines” from the Republic of Buenos Aires  squatted there between 1823 and 1833, despite British claims to the territory, and were expelled. Ever since, the Argentines have been claiming that the islands were illegally stolen by the British, even though the Brits were there first.  Remember, the islands were uninhabited until Europeans came along.

To whip up national fervor, Argentines have been told by many of their presidents and tyrants that the “Malvinas” belong to Argentina, just because they had a minuscule shanty town there for ten years that disputed, but could not override, the British claim to the islands.

In 1982, Argentina’s military rulers ordered an invasion and occupation of the islands, but the Argentines were trounced by the British and driven out, much to the delight of the native Kelpers.

cristina 2

Let’s follow this logic and apply it to other circumstances.

The Bahamas belong to the United States. Hell, Nassau is only 187 miles from Miami, one tenth the distance between Stanley and Buenos Aires.  And Americans own property there, and deposit money in its banks.

Cuba belongs to the United States. Hell, it’s only 90 miles from Key West, and the U.S. owned it between 1898 and 1902.

All of the Southwestern United States, including California, belongs to Mexico. Hell, the U.S. stole it through wars of aggression.

No, wait, all of Mexico belongs to the U.S.A., which won a war against it, fair and square… and… at least one half of Mexico’s population lives in the U.S.A. anyway.

All of the central United States, from Louisiana up to the Dakotas belongs to France. Yeah, Napoleon sold it to Thomas Jefferson, but Napoleon was an illegal usurper, not a legitimate ruler of France.   And they need good baguettes in Kansas.

Florida extends all the way to North Carolina, and it belongs to Spain.

Manhattan belongs to the Dutch. They bought it from the natives.

No, wait, Manhattan belongs to the natives. The Dutch tricked them with glass beads…

Come to think of it, all of North America and South America really belongs to the native tribes who lived there, long before Europeans arrived.

….. and so on…. it’s an endless list.

So, let’s toss logic to the winds and invade the Bahamas, and Mexico.  Simply wanting to own someone else’s territory entitles you to it, and emotion trumps reason and law…. Remember Spring Break and the Alamo! …. And don’t forget Cuba!   Remember the Maine!




4 thoughts on “A Dazzling Display of Latrine American Logic

  1. Beyond ludicrous, but perfectly Latrine. As for Evita Kardashian, aka Cretina, what a TOTAL embarrassment. Just pitiful (especially anybody who’d vote for the ridiculous woman).

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