“Pharaonic” park to be built in honor of Hugo Chavez

Nicolás Maduro and the mayor of Caracas, Jorge Rodríguez announce the park project.
Nicolás Maduro and the mayor of Caracas, Jorge Rodríguez announce the park project…. Hey…. wait a minute…. what the hell is the image on that t-shirt worn by the mayor ? Hey…$#@!^&*@!  que carajo.. the bastards stole the graphics for Babalu banner, and replaced Val’s aunt’s eyes with Hugo’s. Time to sue !!!!!!! Wait… that’s what communists do: they steal your stuff, your ideas, and your soul, too…. Damn, almost forgot!  … And, while we’re focusing on details, why does Adidas supply both Fidel and Maduro with their wardrobe?

Nicolas “El Platanito” Maduro to spend mega-millions of petrodollars on “Pharaonic Hugo Chavez Park”

From ABC Spain, source of all important news from Caracastan.  Whole thing HERE in Spanish.

Just when you thought that the latrine couldn’t be dug any deeper or be filled with more ordure, Saddam-Hussein-look-alike Nicolas Maduro comes along to prove everyone wrong.

Today he announced plans to build the largest of all parks in Caracastan, in honor of his mentor Hugo Chavez, and he is actually calling it  “Pharaonic”  … though the exact meaning of that bombastic appellation remains somewhat unclear to all non-Bolivarian minds.

The funds for this project were set aside by Hugo Chavez himself before he died, but only to the sum of 15 million dollars.  The projected cost announced today was 30 million.

Current “president” Maduro has pledged to siphon whatever else is needed from the country’s treasury.

The 1,600-acre park will include a 35,000-seat baseball stadium and a 55,000-seat soccer stadium, as well as many other expensive features, including a bus depot, a symphony hall, bike trails, and a 100-acre plaza (ostensibly for Fidelesque gatherings of “the people”).  To top it off, the park will also house the campus of the new Bolivarian University. It will be the largest park in Venezuela.

Multiple-prize-winning  British architect Sir Richard Rogers has agreed to design this eighth wonder of the modern world, the first in human history to combine a bus depot, bike trails, university, stadiums, and a concert hall as window-dressing for a huge plaza in which a dictator can berate hundreds of thousands of his subjects in the tropical heat.

As everyone in the world knows, the budget initially announced for all public works projects always turns out to be a very small fraction of the final cost.  Consequently, some in Caracastan have expressed concern over this potential money pit.

So it goes.  There you have it.  This is what Revolutions are all about, especially in Latrine America.  No toilet paper, no bread, no freedom of speech, no hope, but plenty of “pharaonic” memorials for the tinhorn dictator. Imagine what Fidel would have built for himself if he had access to petrodollars….

Can you imagine the Sphinx –ten times larger than the one in Egypt — with Fidel’s face on it, and with nine pyramids in the background, each ten times larger  too?   Seguro.  Segurísimo.  No problem….. and each of these monuments would be loaded with nuclear missiles too.  H-bombs, for sure, all aimed northwards.



6 thoughts on ““Pharaonic” park to be built in honor of Hugo Chavez

  1. A perfect time to reread the chapter on the Park of the Revolution in Waiting for Snow in Havana.
    This chapter has it all – hilarity of mischievous children, lies of the Castros about their achievements, a frightened, sad father knowing what is to come soon to his family, and children who also go from carefree frivolity to angst ridden knowledge of what is on the horizon.
    Like all the rest of the chapters in this marvelous book, this one offers lifetimes in a few pages.
    Same for Learning to Die in Miami.
    We are so lucky this great writer posts here.

  2. I bought “Waiting for Snow in Havana” long ago but quickly chickened out of reading it. It’s still there, waiting. I sensed it would be too painful, that it would stir up too much, so I left it for people like Honey, who can deal with it more objectively. It’s sort of like the old adage, “Don’t talk about rope in the home of a hanged man.”

  3. I met a traveller from an antique land
    Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
    Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
    Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
    And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
    Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
    Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
    The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
    And on the pedestal these words appear:
    “My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
    Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
    Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
    Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
    The lone and level sands stretch far away.

    Ozymandias, Percy Bysshe Shelley

  4. asombra, get over your skittishness at once! You will get the catharsis of your life. You will be so proud to be Cuban. You will laugh deeply and gratefully all through at the splendor of recognition and gladness that someone so perfectly told your story. These books may be painful, but they are also very funny. Set aside whatever else you have to do and read both books at once.
    I am not as objective as you might believe. I may not be Cuban, but there is universality in these books enough to make me laugh, cry and be glad that this author exists and I was alive to read him.

  5. For crying out loud, Asombra! YOU (of all people) must realize how genuinely good a book needs to be when it’s authored by one of “those people,” when it flaunts double-barreled intransigence–and STILL wins a National Book Award!…so get cracking!

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