Bowl-lavarian revolution may save Bolivarian revolution and transform all of Latrine America


Yeah!  Now we’re talkin’… This is a real revolution, a rebowlutionary solution to all inequalities and to the banality of all class struggle.  It’s the end of the Darwinian scramble for survival.

Toilet paper shortages have been threatening to undo all of the wonderful reforms brought forth by Chavismo and Castroismo.

Forget toilet paper shortages.  Install these babies everywhere in Cubazuela, from shanty town and collapsing cuarteria to all-inclusive apartheid tourist resort, and swish, every revolutionary enterprise will be flush with success.

No more whining about toilet paper shortages.  No, sir; no, ma’m.  Everyone will be so happy, and so much more productive.

Raul Castro and Nicolas Maduro have pledged to distribute these 21st-century socialist toilets to everyone in Latrine America in exchange for the suppression of all civil liberties.

When this invention is made available to every human being on earth, on the Castro-Maduro Bowl-lavarian plan, everyone will be truly equal.  And everyone will be able to hold hands and sing Kumbaya without fear of contamination.

And no more intestinal distress epidemics on cruise ships either.  Everybody wins, including the evil capitalists who manufacture these toilets and all the ethically-challenged Canadian tourists who yearn to spend time in the tropics without mingling with inferior people!

It’s the ultimate act of repudiation! Swissssssh!

From The New York Daily News


New high-tech toilets: no hands or paper required

A new generation of toilet seats being produced could change the way people go to the bathroom. The new models uses water to wash from behind and the front.

Every so often a revolution transforms something truly basic, rendering the status quo somewhat, well, primitive.

First came covered sewers, then indoor plumbing and flush toilets. Now, one bathroom at a time, another major shift in toilet hygiene is quietly underway. A new generation of toilets may one day make toilet paper — and the need to put one’s hands anywhere near the unspeakable — seem like chamber pots and outhouses: outdated and somewhat messy throwbacks reserved for camping trips.

Unlike traditional toilets, the high-tech version washes from behind and — if desired — in front with water. Better models allow for temperature, direction and pressure control, and have retractable spritzing wands and automatic driers as well. The best feature warm seats, automatic motion sensors to raise the lid, buttons to raise the seat, nightlights, self-cleaning mechanisms, music to mask unpleasant sounds, deodorizer spritzers and other conveniences.

“Paper just distributes the problem,” said Lenora Campos, a spokeswoman for Georgia-based Toto USA. Toto, the Japanese company that pioneered the modern electronic toilet seat, has sold 34 million of them globally. “We wash most things with water and wouldn’t dream of wiping a dish or anything else with a piece of paper and calling it clean. So why should personal hygiene be any different?”

Toto began marketing the Washlet in Japan in 1980. Now 74 percent of Japanese households have toilets of the high-tech persuasion, making them more common there than home computers.

The concept of electronic toilets that cleanse with water — widely known as bidet toilets or Washlets — has spread internationally over time, and dozens of companies around the world, including Inax, Brondell and Kohler, are producing them.

Continue reading this absolutely fascinating news HERE (with ample illustrations, too).




2 thoughts on “Bowl-lavarian revolution may save Bolivarian revolution and transform all of Latrine America

  1. My family had bidets (two of them) in our house in Rancho Boyeros long ago. I remember as a five year old opening the faucet just about all the way and seeing that baby send a multi stream jet of water clear to the ceiling. How’s that for high tech?

  2. Will Mr. Castro & Mr. Maduro be purchasing these off the shelf?

    The Toto & Kohler models start at + $1000. … while there are less expensive models, in the areas of Venezuela I visited there weren’t too many toilet seats left in the public washrooms. So I think the problem may be more deeply rooted than simply a lack of toilet paper.

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