I did a brief stint in the Creative Writing program art Florida International University a few years back. Had some pretty good professors. Well known, published persons good at their craft.
What was most interesting for me was their approach in getting us budding writers to actually write quality stuff. Apart from the lectures, they would have us write and write every day. Once our pieces were written, we had to make copies and distribute them to the entire class. We would then take all the writings home and read, review and comment on them.
This process helps alot as one can write something and tweak it and edit it and not notice one or two "flaws" in the piece, whether grammatical or inherent to the piece itself, that another person may pick up immediately. Sometimes, a reader will point out something that you as the writer hadn't realized or something that had not occured to you. It's a pretty good system actually, even though not all comments are always constructive.
With that in mind, I would like you all to feel free to comment and pick apart any of the articles I write in prose form. I need your help and input as you guys are all pretty damn good writers. Don't worry about voicing your opinion on any particular piece or about being nice. Just be honest. If the story sucks, the story sucks, and I need to hear it.
So go ahead, pick up the blue pencils and edit away. You can start with Miguelito's Bottle, I know it has some holes in it, I just need you all to verify them.
Here's what I think:
I think the story is excellent as is. The only thing I would like is some more information about these people's lives. What street do they live on? What music do they hear?
Details make a piece juicy. They stimulate the imagination of the reader. Not tree but sugar maple. Not car but El Camino. These little emblems of proof make the reader feel like they have been there.
Frank Lloyd Wright said God is in the details. What does that hospital room smell like? What does Miguel's breathing sound like on the ventilation machine? I know that you have imagined these things in the process of writing the story. Now, share.
D
Posted by: David Strain at September 2, 2003 12:08 PMThanx David. For your input and for the trackbacks and for helping out.
It's true what you say, I have a tendency of telling and not showing. What happened with Miguelito's Bottle is that the father's character got away from me. He ended up getting a life of his own (which, I was taught, is a good thing) and that made it harder for me to put the reader in scene as it was no longer me telling the story, but the dad. I ended up rewriting the beginning from omniscient point of view to the father's point of view.
What did you think of the ending? The last "scene" is where I totally ran into a wall.
Posted by: Val Prieto at September 2, 2003 01:00 PMThe story ROCKS! I envy your ability to develop such wonderful characters. I tend to gloss over my characters too quickly to get to the meat of the story. I have to agree with David, words written describing smells, sounds, etc. really bring the story to life. Keep writing!
Posted by: Sgt Hook at September 2, 2003 01:39 PMI thought the ending was one of the best parts. Sometimes you run out of story and it's just time to stop. You don't always have to finish with a musical number and violins swelling from the orchestra pit. Sometimes you just drop the curtain.
Have you read Natalie Goldberg?
D
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