July 22, 2004
My Morning
The plans for a certain project at the university have to be approved by the building department by tomorrow but I had some comments from the buiilding department's structural reviewer so I had to get in touch with my structural engineer and have been unable to do so for three days but then he calls and says he will be in the office until noon and he needs the review set of drawings and calculations which are not in my office but in the hands of the person processing the plans through the building department so I call the person and she is at another building departmnent in downtown Miami and cant leave before noon so I have to go get them from her over there so I drive over and sit in the parking lot waiting for her to come down cause the plans are in her car and why should I go up and look for her but she comes down after Ive been waiting a half hour and get the plans and calculations and I haul ass to the engineer's office as it's almost noon and it's about a 15 minutes drive to his office but I get there and find that the street of his office is basically closed and there a hell of a lot of people around just sitting down on the sidewalks and all over the place in general so I have to park 4 blocks away and walk. . . With a huge set of plans and specifications. Wearing a black shirt and in the damn sun and heat. And I've been running around like a mad man all morning. And the street is filled with people. And. It. Is. Hot. As. Hell.
My first thought is that there is something going on at the Colombian Embassy Consulate which is right across the street from the engineer's office. But, looking at the people all around me, none of them even remotely resembles a Colombian. And it's just too damn quiet for it to be a mass of latin people.
So I continue lugging the damn documents and drawings through the maze of people towards the engineer's office. It is unbeleivably hot. I mean HOT as in 98 degrees and really humid. I'm sweating from parts of my body I didnt even know existed. I have to walk around, over, side step and practically jump over some of these people sitting here in the sun waiting for something.
What the hell are all these morons doing waiting out here in this heat? What could they possibly be looking forward to that much? What could possibly merit heat stroke?
Then it dawns on me. Books and Books. It's right next door to the engineer's office an there's a damn book signing going on. Now I know it's not Anne Rice or Steven King or any other writer that gets this kind of press coverage and following. These are not the dress like vampires kind of freaks. these are completely diferent kinds of freaks altogether.
Then it dawns on me again. It's Bill. Bill Freaken Clinton is coming to sign books here this afternoon and there are people already waiting. They must have been waiting since freaken dawn.
For the love of life, don't these people have JOBS?!!!
I get to the door of the engineer's office and there are 4 college age guys sitting right in front of the entrance reading. Excuse me I say. Could you guys please move? I need to get in.
They moved out of the way complaining like teenagers, mumbling under their breaths. I go in and meet with my engineer. Everyone in his office is laughing at all the morons waiting outside in the heat.
As Im leaving the 4 morons see me coming and start to move all their shit out of the way again. I open the door, step outside, close it and turn to them and say:
Are you guys here waiting for Sandy Berger's autograph? Cause it'll be a long wait.
If looks could kill, I'd be dead right now. But, since they can't, and I'm sure those dumbass college kids wouldnt even think about touching me, I just laughed my ass off in front of them and continued laughing my ass off all the way down the street.
I would never, ever stand in a line like that for any celebrity, especially one the likes of Clinton, because, as my wife always says "My family left Cuba so we wouldn't have to stand in line."
Best part about this is, I have to go back there this afternoon. Next time, I'll be a little better prepared.
Posted by Val Prieto at July 22, 2004 01:54 PM
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Comments
OOH, I can't wait to hear how round two goes...
Posted by: Amanda at July 22, 2004 02:40 PM
Ha! Now, Hillary you would have stood in line for, no?
Posted by: j.scott barnard at July 22, 2004 03:10 PM
You think that Castro is the only one who can hire a crowd of stooges to make him look important?
(A BLACK shirt?!)
Posted by: homebru at July 22, 2004 03:29 PM
He's going to be at our local WalMart a week from Saturday....the day we normally do our grocery shopping. I think instead we'll go Friday night or Sunday.
Posted by: rita at July 22, 2004 03:35 PM
Colombian Embassy? In Miami? Don't you mean Colombian Consulate? I would assume the Colombian Embassy is in DC.
Posted by: Dave J at July 22, 2004 04:42 PM
"Are you guys here waiting for Sandy Berger's autograph? Cause it'll be a long wait."
Classic. Val, you're my hero!
"My family left Cuba so we wouldn't have to wait in line."
I like the wife. This is exactly my way of thinking. I know that order is important and patience is a virtue, but I hate lines, especially lines for unimportant things. I rarely go to amusement parks for this very reason. Oh, and a line to see Bill Clinton. Hold a gun to my mother's head and I might think about it.
Posted by: Patrick at July 22, 2004 04:42 PM
Clinton would do a signing at a pretentious "we are soooo Independent™" hole-in-the-wall bookstore like Books and Books.
Posted by: Andrea Harris at July 24, 2004 01:42 PM
Oops -- strike the "hole-in-the-wall" comment; I see they've moved to bigger, but no-less-pretentious, digs. It's been years since I was in Miami. All I know is when I used to visit at the place when they were stuck in a tiny corner place on one of the smaller back streets, they never carried any of my favorite sci-fi authors. Feh!
Posted by: Andrea Harris at July 24, 2004 01:46 PM
