OK, I'll provide one:

"Send testicles!" = "¡Manda huevos!

LOL George!!!

Val, those are all great sayings! Even though I "tengo los oidos de gringa" they've got a potent ring about them :)

(An aside: I speak enough Spanish to make myself understood, but I never could roll my "R's" until this very perceptive (and I think Cuban) Spanish instructor told me to repeat the phrase "put it in the cup" over and over with increasing tempo. It really does work!)

Very colorful use of the language. Cubans also do this when naming some of their dishes. Such as

Mojon de negro
Chino con piojo
judias
moros con cristianos

I know its off topic but whenever I hear chino con piojo I can't help but laugh. And really I've never had it but my dad told me it was a mercocha made from brown sugar, then sprinkled with toasted sesame seeds?

What about this:

when some one is "candela" they say "Esa es rinquincaya con vidrio molido"

quoting Val "when we find ourselves in a precarious situation, or when we find something to be overwhelmingly ridiculous or difficult or maddening..."
what about "ñoooo, eso es coquito con criptonita"

how about:
Estoy cagado de aura tiñosa
or
tengo un chino piloto atras
or
de pin--tura blanca

"onomatopoetic,"

Actually I am looking this up as I have no idea what that means

Val, in July of 2003 you wrote this:

"[f]idel, me cago en el recontracoño de tu madre" which equals "[f]idel, I defecate on the ____________ of your mother".

I know what a "coño" signifies (in Spain it is the word for a certain part of the female anatomy, in Cuba I don't know); but what is a "recontracoño"?

P.S., there ain't nothin' like Cuban swearin'...

From Webster's Online:

Main Entry: on·o·mato·poe·ia
Pronunciation: "ä-n&-"mä-t&-'pE-&, -"ma-
Function: noun
Etymology: Late Latin, from Greek onomatopoiia, from onomat-, onoma name + poiein to make -- more at POET
1 : the naming of a thing or action by a vocal imitation of the sound associated with it (as buzz, hiss)
2 : the use of words whose sound suggests the sense
- on·o·mato·poe·ic /-'pE-ik/ or on·o·mato·po·et·ic /-pO-'e-tik/ adjective
- on·o·mato·poe·i·cal·ly /-'pE-&-k(&-)lE/ or on·o·mato·po·et·i·cal·ly /-pO-'e-ti-k(&-)lE/ adverb

'send eggs'

Love it! So, "Le sumba el mango" would be an equivalent to "That sucks"?

Despite two years of high school Spanish, I never DID learn to 'roll my rrrr's'. But, I just might hafta practice so I can use 'Le ronca los cojones!"...which I assume is similar to "That chaps my ass!" hehe

DALE QUE AQUI VOY CON UNOS CUANTOS - HERE YOU GO!!

Se armo la de San Quintin
Oye! Se saco la rifa del guanajo
Se acabo como la fiesta del guatao
A mi no pidas que estoy arrancao
A otro perro con ese huezo
A un gustazo, un trancazo
Al pan pan y al vino vino

Oye Babalu dame una manito con el traslation..(hehehe) la marielita no da pa tanto.
Happy 4th of July -

ok here's another one:

Cabe como deo en culo
mas grande que la torre de San Simon

I loved all the comments---------Wow mi gente si que estan en algo.

Bueno, aqui van la ultima para cerrar con BROCHE DE ORO.

Oye FIDEL estoy loca que te de una SIRIMBA O UN PATANTUN y que GINDES EL PIOJO, para sonar un VACILON a TODO METER, cuando te ECHEN AL PICO, vamos a tener tremenda REBAMBARANDA dejate de dar tanta MUELA, Y acaba de MORIRTE SACO DE MIERDA.

http://www.adpuello.com/dicharachos.htm

Val,

There is a link to a bunch of Cubanismos.

Val,
Don't worry about offending our ears. Here in Texas cojones is a well used term. As one of my sons said to the other, many years ago, "Mom doesn't have virgin ears!" I'm 68, consider myself a lady, sort of, and do not take offense at these expressions.
A person from Cuba who takes offense at the liberals and their pandering SHOULD HAVE THE COJONES to speak out about it. You did.

ok, a couple more before I leave:

me llevan a pata por culo y buchito de cafe

when you choke on food or drink:
se te fue por la via vieja

tengo dengue

estoy desguabinao

tengo baguiti

Tiene peste a cojon de oso

tirarse el peo mas alto que el culo

tener el moco subido (one of my favorites)

vete a hechar peste por hay

me tienes hasta el ultimo pelo

viejo cagalitroso

eso esta en casa del culo del mundo

no te hagas mosquita muerta

eso pica y extiende

pan con timba (pan con guayaba y queso crema)

hambre vieja

es un bollo loco

cargar muerto

pagar platos rotos

tener la leche cortada

de pelicula

esa camisa te queda grande y estrujada

bicho malo nunca muere

Have a great weekend everyone.
Val this site really makes my day.

Thanks, Oscar

recontracoño
I think this is the BEST modifiers we Cubans use. I have heard this in Spain so it may be a Spaniard origen
It is SO convoluted in terms of language that it is impossible to translate but I shall give it a try:
Coño (which is the definite GOAL of this little ditty) is of course the female privates as Spaniards use it. In English it is the "C" word referring to said part.

Contra = against or opposed or even "forcibly pushing against"
Re = Is a modifier that denotes a superlative
For example Negro=black
Re-negro = Blacker than Black

So what you have here is:
Me cago en el recontracoño de tu madre= (this will be explicit so don’t read if you have a sensitive nature

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

"I extremely shit against your mother's cunt"

Another curious translation is that “contra” may also mean “reverse” as in coming from an opposite direction.
So in that case:

“I shit on your mother’s extremely inside out cunt”

We do use the “RE” as a superlative just to emphasize that we are SERIOUS!
“Re-quete” is the ultimate superlative.
As in describing the situation in Cuba you may say…
“Las cosas están de requetepinga”

“Things are superlatively dicked”

¡Coño!

Ok...aqui otros mas:
Al carajo albaniles que se acabo la mezcla!!
Me llevan a rumba y sin tumbadora!
Amanecio con el mono virao!
ponte pa tu numero!
Nananina y jabon candado
me cago en la noticia y me limpio con el telegrama.
tengo los nervios de punta!!
mas viejo que Matusalen!
te meto en el caldero y te hago chicharo!!
toma chocolate y paga lo que debe (this is from an old 40's or 50's song)
Me costo un ojo de la cara
Mas caro que un hijo bobo criado en Francia (My grandmother used this one all the time)
Pesa mas que un matrimonio mal llevao!!
Now this one I just heard from my cousin that just came from Cuba:
"Esta mas caro que una puta en el Vedado!!

I LOVE IT!!
Carmen

Has anyone heard "mierdolina en pomo chato"? My mom says when she knows someone's lying. Or how about "para tu culo, caballito."

As for "le ronca los cojones", I said that once in front of my parents and got smacked upside the head. So I revised it to "le ronca el conyo".

Happy Independence day, everyone! My family and I came to America 41 years ago on the 4th. Indepence Day is a very special day for us (and very fitting).

Y'all have surprised me by not mentioning a classic: Paraguero!!! which is something you holler at a bad driver in a neigbouring car. If the bad driver in question is at the wheel of a bus, then you holler Guaguero! at him and that says it all. That's all contained in the book: Etiquette in the Streets of Havana, by Emily Post.
I have another one, a variance of coquito con kriptonita, which is coquito con mortadella (the same definition and rule of use)
Another one: tener los cojones cuadrados, that's to be a tough guy. To have square testicles. That's something else, isn't it?