July 08, 2005
Right Place, Right Time?
You decide:
Every once in a while, something will happen during the course of the everyday and mundane, something out of the ordinary, that you know it's just a matter of you being at the right place at the right time. Sometimes, even, as you are experiencing this out of the ordinary event, you predict the outcome in your mind.
Lemme 'splain...
I'm sitting in my truck at the BK drive thru just now, minding my own business, trying to decide if I want to double up on that Whopper I'm about to order. A car comes to an almost screeching halt perpendicular and to my right into one of the parking spaces. The door opens and I see a high heeled foot stick out below the door.
Now, ordinarily, Im not much of an ogler, but Im a leg man, and as such, I figured the high heel was like a preview of sorts. An omen. And Im not staring mind you, just sitting there waiting my turn at the drive thru and non-chalantly observing my surroundings.
The girl gets out of the car and slams her door shut.
Now, I can only describe the girl as...well...slutty. She was wearing high heels, and a short, very short skirt and quite a bit of face paint. Her legs were a bit thin for my tastes, but you can't have it all now can you?
But the there was one thing about the girl that was very prominent. Incredibly prominent. Overwhelmingly prominent. Yes, that's right, you guessed it. She had huge boobs.
And Im not talking ordinary big boobs. Im talking massive here. Humongous. Stupendously and unequivocally massive hugely humungous boobs. And they were compressed into this small, incredibly stretched little tank top that if it had sound it would be that squeeky sound of ropes tightening. The modulus of elasticity was being exploited. They were, my friends, true WHOPPERS, right there in the parking lot of Burger King, ensconced in this little stretch fabric that was busting at the seams. Holding on for dear life.
Holy Moly! I thought.
And then, as the girl starts walking towards the BK and is about to cross over the parking lot curb in front of my car, I think to myself "Coño, they look like they are about to burst out of that top."
And I swear this is true, no sooner had I thought that when the girl trips on the curb and in one instant flowing move that I will probably never, ever forget, stumbles a bit in front of me and PLOOOP!
The massiveness had just found a way out of the oppressive top by pushing their way out through the top of the top.
Oh. My. Word. There they were, in all of their hugely humungously massive splendor, exposed, in the BK parking lot in the arduous South Florida sun. Right there, directly in front of me in the drive through lane.
I could hear the two guys in the pick up behind me freaking completely out. I was stunned. And I think I felt a little stifled. As if there wasnt enough room in the parking lot for me, the girl and her massive companions.
But then the girl just pulled her top out over the two escapees as if nothing had happened. No blushing, no smiling, no ackowledging that anyone had been witness to the great escape. Nada. She just kept right on going into the Burger King. Didnt give the event a second thought.
And me? I ended up ordering a chicken sandwich.
Posted by Val Prieto at July 8, 2005 01:20 PM
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Comments
Val,
Thank you so much for taking us *right there* as you went through this fabulous experience!
Naturally, all I can say is: I'll have a "double whopper" ...and a shake... or two...
:)
Julio
Posted by: Julio C. Zangroniz at July 8, 2005 01:33 PM
Chicken sandwich, indeed.
Posted by: George L. Moneo at July 8, 2005 01:56 PM
You know, Val. In my almost five decades, I have been fortunate enough to witness many examples of one of the glories of God's creation. But I have never had the good fortune you wrote about. My advice: ¡juega el lotto! because you just got three cherries in the man's slot machine of life...
Posted by: George L. Moneo at July 8, 2005 01:59 PM
Man I could here the theme to "Chariots Of Fire" just ever so slowly playing in the background while at the end during the "Breastesses (lol)" escape I heard the loud pounding thunderous orchestra theme from "A Space Odyssey"!
Folks I think it is of vital importance to film the third chapter,we had "Escape From NY" (Which was great) then "Escape From L.A." (which sucked) but the most important escape to "MEN"kind,"Escape From Le Bra" has yet to be filmed,a tragedy if you ask me!
Val,please keep a camcorder in hand at ALL times,while I appreciate the mental p*** you have just provided,there isnt anything like visuals!
Posted by: YUCA at July 8, 2005 02:07 PM
LOL guys.
I swear, I dont know why I even posted this, but I think I just had to record for posterity.
Two things:
First, Its funny Yuca mentions Chariots of Fire,becuase I see the event ever so slowly in slo mo in my mind. Almost disturbingly slowly.
Second, the two guys behind me in the truck - they were elctrical contractors - back up out of the drive through, parked next to her car and ewent inside the BK.
The whole things was surreal.
Posted by: Val Prieto at July 8, 2005 02:13 PM
Oh and BTW, Yuca, the song I really would liken to this is Aaron Copland's "Fanfare for the Common Man."
Posted by: Val Prieto at July 8, 2005 02:17 PM
Yeesh, such guys! I love the giant raised finger at political correctness this post represents.
Posted by: Kathleen at July 8, 2005 02:47 PM
That would work as well Val.
Maybe I'll use a piece of it in my next film that I start shooting soon,or perhaps I'll put this film in the back burner and go ahead and film "Escape From le Bra" "The REAL Supersize Me"!
Hmmmm....I can also hear a bit of Giorgio Moroder's "Midnight Express"!
Posted by: YUCA at July 8, 2005 02:58 PM
That's too funny, I'm sitting here laughing.
Enjoy the special bonus view that fate gave you! Who said there's no reward for hard work??
Posted by: Grace at July 8, 2005 03:10 PM
Man, I loveeeeeeeeeed it. Thanks.
Posted by: Henry Agueros at July 8, 2005 04:15 PM
Awesome...thanks for sharing that with us Val!
Was your chicken sandwich grilled or fried?
Posted by: Robert at July 8, 2005 04:18 PM
I just can imagine the scene with any of this tracks in the background: Wild Thing, or Brown Sugar, by the Rolling Stones.
The first one for a slower motion cinematic effect. Brown Sugar for a more upbeat clip.
Val, I know you want BK to install shiny stripper poles all over the parking lot!
Posted by: CB at July 8, 2005 04:18 PM
Stripper poles at BK? Got my vote!
Posted by: YUCA at July 8, 2005 05:04 PM
Val: My late brother Joe couldn't have said it better. One of the things I miss the most are his missives about every day life. Your's is one of the classics. I can't have my brother back, but this certainly brought back fond memories.
God bless you, 'mano.
Posted by: Ray at July 8, 2005 09:05 PM
LMAO. Assuming it was a chicken BREAST sandwich, Val?
Posted by: gansibele at July 8, 2005 09:45 PM
LOL!!!!! Hilarious story, Val! Love the squeaky ropes detail!
Posted by: A.M. Mora y Leon at July 9, 2005 02:03 AM
How about Ride of the Valkyries or Night on Bald Mountain? This sounds epic!
Posted by: A.M. Mora y Leon at July 9, 2005 02:07 AM
Val:
Which BK was this? I feel like I need to visit the site just to absorb the aura of a great moment.
Posted by: SWLiP at July 9, 2005 02:12 PM
Val,
The real question here is: Do you think that she supersized her whoppers?
G.
Posted by: guido at July 11, 2005 04:36 PM
