Will someone please answer that phone!!!!???!!!

Worse than vertigo.

Whew. For a few moments just now, I did something I thought I'd never, ever do: I wished I had a massive, real vertigo attack.

I started my morning as I usually do, sitting in front of the computer with about a gallon of cafe cubano and reading my rss and news feeds. After a few minutes though, a slight buzzing started. No, I wasnt having a real vertigo attack. But that buzzing that painfully transformed itself slowly into a dizzying effect, kept getting louder and louder and the spinning speed faster and faster. Again, the spinning wasnt caused by that perilymph fistula in the balance center of my right ear that has wreaked vertigo havoc on me for two years now. This is a different kind of vertigo altogether. This is a man-made one.

I suppose I could try to coin a term for it, something like Extremus Falsus Nuntius Vertere Extremus, and describe it, albeit not perfectly, as "head spinning and dizziness caused by reading and absorbing too much bullshit newspeak written and presented by a slew of roving self agrandized arrogant asswhipe leftist holier than thou do as I say not as I do Im gonna shove my opinions into your face ad nauseum hidden as news until your head explodes 'journalists'".

Whew. Just thinking about that puts the spinning into fifth gear, and, did I mention the constant ringing?

I'd try to list all the conspiring "news articles" that prompted today's episode of Extremus Falsus Nuntius Vertere Extremus, but I simply dont have the time and the Dramamines and Antiverts have yet to take full effect. Plus, that ringing.

That. Ringing. Just. Wont. Stop.

Posted by Val Prieto at August 12, 2008 08:40 AM

Comments

Posted by: honey at August 12, 2008 10:09 AM