The Diary, Part Deuce

Here's part two of the Invalido Maximo's personal diary (courtesy of Paco Enterprises):

December 29

I’m looking through the international papers, and it seems increasingly clear that this Obama fellow is a patsy. He’s going to close the camp at Guantánamo, he’s going to emphasize diplomacy and, for all intents and purposes, he’s going to replace the stars on the U.S. flag with a big happy face. Forget about getting the embargo lifted; I’m thinking we may be able to occupy Key West.

* * *

Damn! Is there any bigger trial in life than one’s own children? The DGI chief paid me a visit and suggested that we find something for Fidelito to do - overseas. They had to pull him out of the bar at La Maison last night; he was pretending to be me, and was cadging free drinks off of British tourists and selling them fake Rolex watches. He became disorderly and even knocked one of the cops out, shouting “Cuba libre!”, when the other policemen finally succeeded in hauling him out to the car.

The trouble is that, even though Fidelito’s such a smart boy – a physicist! - he really has trouble holding his liquor. He’s definitely not ready to take over the business, so maybe a little time abroad would be good for him; I’m thinking Iran or some other Muslim country where they don’t allow booze.
* * *

Ah, the afternoon intelligence reports! Let’s see what’s going on.

What, again? I see that Raul has presented himself with another award: Hero of Labor, 1st Class. That’s the third one this year. I wonder what he did to earn it this time. Answer his own phone? Wipe his own nose? I see, too, that he has ordered another uniform. And of course, something simple in olive drab isn’t good enough for that showboat. Just look at that pattern! And the color: sky blue. He’s going to wind up looking like a general in the Ugandan Air Force, or maybe like a doorman at a fancy New York hotel (not much difference there, actually). Unfortunately, Raul has yet to figure out that you can’t buy charisma.

Marx, Engels and Lenin! Two more of our baseball players have defected! What the hell do Marti and Gomez think they’re going to gain, besides the completely useless, bourgeois commodity of personal freedom? That and fifty cents will get you an espresso, boys (well, not here, of course, but wherever coffee isn’t rationed).

Ok, here’s one piece of good news; my banker in Switzerland managed to get me out of equities before the financial meltdown, and took a short position in oil just in time to take advantage of the sharp decline in prices (tough luck, Hugo!) I should probably be looking to pick up some income properties cheap, maybe in Chile. And since this new American President seems bound and determined to bring back Weimar-type inflation, which could heat up prices worldwide, I might want to hedge by transferring some cash into precious metals accounts. Oh, and mustn’t forget to investigate the possibility of a dollar/euro arbitrage play on short-term interest rates (Yes, yes, I know; communism is the best form of government and the fairest method of allocating wealth. But there’s no need to be a fanatic about it).

Posted by Val Prieto at January 23, 2009 10:14 AM

Comments

Posted by: Henry Louis Gomez at January 24, 2009 01:49 AM