January 27, 2009
Cigar Mikes Needs Some Stimulus
Greetings infidels. After a little hiatus I'm back to torment the leftist liberal zombies.
Since Congress is giving money away, see the 600+ page bill here, I figure that I should lobby them to earmark some money for me.
The bill, includes:
For an additional amount for ‘‘Grants and Administration’’, $50,000,000, to be distributed in direct grants to fund arts projects and activities which preserve jobs in 14 the non-profit arts sector threatened by declines in philanthropic and other support during the current economic downturn
* * *
For necessary expenses for a ‘‘Prevention and Wellness Fund’’ to be administered through the Department of Health and Human Services Office of the Secretary, $3,000,000,000
Note that the 3 billion to HHS includes a buttload of money for condoms to help stimulate liberals into having sex. (One would think that the liberals would want people having more kids since it increases the number of Democratic voters) ... now don't get me wrong, this is a good thing (stopping unwanted pregnancies since they stop the number of abortions) .... but this is a stimulus bill, not a "let's fix society" bill.
In fact, as you see, there is a $50M grant for funding the arts. I have no qualms funding "real" arts like classical music, opera, jazz --(as compared to "piss christ" and maplethorpe's over the top naked men stuff) --
but this is an economic stimulus bill -- not a let's fund the arts bill. But if they are going to ram this through Congress, well it's time they fund Cigar Mike by sending me the new Canon 800 5.6L super telephoto lens (pictured above).
The above lens costs around $ 10.5K. A meager amount compared to the money going for the building of a mafia museum. What I am asking is .0002% of the total money being allocated here. And look how giving me the money will stimulate the economy better than condoms will. First, with that money, I will spend it at B&H Photo in New York. Those monies will help keep a sales guy employed over there. Heck, this is only 1/2 of the money the new Treasury Secretary cheated the government on when he "forgot" to pay his taxes.
Then with the pictures I will take of that lens, most likely of wildlife and birds, (BTW, I'll need an additional $ 20K for travel expenses and printing expenses). I am helping the conservation by presenting artistic images of wildlife in our national parks and elsewhere. I will print up the images at my lab putting the lab employees to work and then I will frame them putting money into the frame guy's pockets and then they can hang my work somewheres and make people "well" and make them "feel good."
I think it's a good deal, no? So to Nancy, Harry, Barack, and all of yous guys out in Washington, please send your certified check in the amount of $ 22,500.00 payable to me, Cigar Mike, Las Olas Blvd., 16th Floor BOA Tower, Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
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Now infidels, I'm sure the liberal buttwipes are saying, "Cigar Mike, you don't deserve this stimulus. Why should the government give you, an individual, money to buy photographic equipment."
My response is, well I would be stimulating the economy by spending it on goods and services which is what you want the people to do with the trillion dollars you're throwing at the problem.
Now if they were really smart, then what they should be doing is cutting everyone's taxes especially mine so I can have that extra money to buy it myself and thus put the money into the economy. You multiply that across the board, and people will spend and business will invest.
But since they won't do the smart thing, and if Nancy "Mons Pubis" Pelosi gets her way, she will jack up my taxes and take away my money that I could otherwise spend on the economy so she can buy more condoms for her district so that her constituents can take it up the ying yang with the help of taxpayer money. So better that I get the money so I can do my share in helping the economy gow. I will gladly take that check now.
PS (I know some of you are asking, how did the $10.2K become all of a sudden $ 22.5K?) It's how it works folks, you ask or a taste, then tell them you need more and they'll keep throwing the money at you.
Adios infidels.
UPDATE: Just saw in the bill that $4.19 billion for "neighborhood stabilization activities" means money to ACORN. So the amount I'm asking is .00537% of that amount. I think it's a fair deal no? Heck, If they send me the money for the lens, I'll agree to put "Lens Courtesy of the US Congress & President Obama" on it as a token of good will. I mean, don't you want to see more pictures from me like these?
Posted by Cigar Mike at January 27, 2009 10:20 AM
Comments
Excellent. I love this.
And I hope everyone heard about Rush's free offer of advice. In Obama's spirit of bipartisanship, Rush offers his proposal - the Rush/Obama stimulus package:
Since the Republicans received 46% of the vote, they should get to spend 46% of the money. So with our share we will cut taxes, eliminate taxes on capital gains, estates, lower tax rates on inividuals and corporations,etc. Thus the actual expenditure will be a mere 54% of the money and we'll get great stimulus despite the Keynesian spending.
This works rhetorically, too. since libs call tax cuts spending and government spending investment, how do they logically refute this idea?
As usual, Rush is a genius.
Posted by: honey ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.babalublog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at January 27, 2009 11:56 AM
Great post. Some good news: Obama wants to take out the "family planning" part from the stimulus bill.
Posted by: Robert at January 27, 2009 12:08 PM
A couple more things pointed out to me by someone from Yahoo! Answers...
Stimulus Bill Pork:
‘‘Department of Housing and Urban Development—Management and Administration—Office
8 of Inspector General’’, $15,000,000.
General Services Administration—Gen23
eral Activities—Office of Inspector General’’,
24 $15,000,000.
Social Security Administration—Office of
8 Inspector General’’, $2,000,000.
There is hereby appropriated as an additional amount
14 for ‘‘Government Accountability Office—Salaries and Ex15
penses’’ $25,000,000, for oversight activities relating to
16 this Act.
"Environmental Protection Agency—State
& and Tribal Assistance Grants’’.
Department of Health and Human Serv2
ices—Office of the Secretary—Office of Inspector
3 General’’, $19,000,000.
Posted by: j2tharome at January 27, 2009 12:51 PM
Tell me, are artists part of the American economy? Do they purchase goods in American stores, sell their art in American markets?
Tell me, are healthcare providers part of the American economy? Do they hire American workers, create high-pay, high-skill jobs?
Tell me, is your Canon camera made in the US or in Japan?
Posted by: Eddy at January 27, 2009 09:35 PM
Eddy dude, your Pelosi talking points proves my point.
This is a stimulus package. For it to work money needs to be put into the hands of the people so that they will spend it to get the economy moving. Throwing government money like they want to do here has never worked in US history except to provide a short term bump. The only thing that has worked is tax cuts. Started with JFK, then Reagan, then Bush. This bill is not a do good let's fix the ills of society bill. These things you refer to in your rhetorical talking points is a waste of money. Put that in another bill. Not in this one. If you buy the crap from the talking points, then they might as well buy me the lens.
Canon & Nikon are made in Japan. What does that have to do with anything?
Posted by: Cigar Mike Pancier at January 27, 2009 09:54 PM
I'm with you, CMike ~ besides, I enjoy your art work, spread it around so others can enjoy it.
I'll support the new Canonl where do I sign?
Posted by: Gigi at January 28, 2009 12:39 AM